Saigon, et al

Saigon was a bigtime city, completely unlike the others in Vietnam. Much wider roads and more cars. Less of a motorbike culture. We had a few $7 drinks on the top-floor of the ritzy Caravelle Hotel where the wait staff was dressed in tuxedos...but what did I notice them watching on the television set...? American 'professional' wrestling....

Cambodia is a much poorer country than the others we went to; even Laos doesn't seem to have such poverty. Lots of naked kids in the streets. The people were really friendly though. Everywhere you go around SE Asia people will try to hawk their wares to you, be it motorbike or taxi rides or postcards, food, or whatever. The Thais and Vietnamese were pretty aggressive about it. The Cambodians were easygoing though - I'd just shake my head and smile and they'd get the picture without hassling me too much more. Went to one of the famous prisons and the "Killing Fields" where many many people were killed during Pol Pot's days. Our tour guide said something to the effect that none of it would have ever occurred if America hadn't been tired of war and intervention after what happened in Vietnam; not to mention the credibility we'd lost in Cambodia by dropping some bombs on Cambodia's part of the Ho Chi Minh Trail. It was just interesting to me the implication that this Cambodian man saw America as the only one that could've stopped it. Of course, had we tried and been moderately successful, I'm sure we'd have been given hell from the rest of the world and many of our own compatriots. Better to do nothing than intervene and do a job less than perfectly, right?

Saw the famous temples at Angkor, which were so huge, numerous, and beautiful that it shocked me to find out they were "lost" for 500 years or so as they were covered in jungle.

Probably the funniest part of the Cambodia bit was the bus ride out of back to Bangkok. The roads were really really bad; about like the trails we drove on in Iraq but with more potholes and bumps that our driver used as ramps. I was sitting in the back and getting thrown all over the place. The driver didn't feel compelled to slow down much. I laughed and told everyone the roads are so bad b/c the Americans must've bombed them... (there still exists plenty of propaganda over here blaming us for everthing).... I'm surprised no one got sick since we were all up till 4AM drinking on our last night out together.... Took us abouit an hour to get through customs on the border with Thailand. For a country so dependent on tourism, the Thais don't go out of their way for tourists. They had two passport control agents for Thais and one for everyone else. The line for foreigners extended out the door with not a single Thai national in the other lines. But no, those passport control agents did not help to reduce the longer line.

Back in Bangkok, I realized what a civilized city it is compared with the others we'd seen. My first time there I thought Bangkok was the most polluted, chaotic place on earth, but it's really pretty tame next to Hanoi. The group went out together one more time, this time we went to a 'ladyboy' show. Ladyboys are what you would think they'd be - men being women, and quite convincingly in many cases. The show was alright, I suppose, although live stage entertainment isn't really my thing. I had ended up sitting in the aisle seat which I knew put me in a position of danger in case the 'girls' wanted to incorporate me into their act, and, of course, I ended up getting pulled onstage (despite my desperate pleas to the girl from the group sitting next to me to jump on my lap or kiss me in case the ladyboys tried to get me up there) to dance with them for a bit. Unfortunately, I didn't have a drop of alcohol in my system so I don't think I moved very well. Mercifully, no one in the group got any good pictures....

Said goodbye to the tour group there in Bangkok. It was sad to see the group go. I think I'll be in touch at least periodically with many of them for a long time to come.

I was lucky enough to have a friend of a friend who lives down in KL so that made my stay there much better than I reckon it would've been otherwise. Kuala Lumpur is quite the party town despite what you might read about it being a conservative Muslim country in the tour books. Well, I'm sure some of Muslims are conservative, but the Chinese are a different story; they certainly know how to have a good time. Actually, scratch that about the Muslims being always conservative, as we ended up partying with several until the wee hours. While it is almost a bit embarrassing to see American wrestling abroad, it gives me strange sense of pride to see a bunch of ethnic Chinese, Malays, and Indians singing along to American rap artists in the clubs. KL is probably the most modern city I've seen in SE Asia, outside of Singapore. Most every young person I met spoke English and the food in the street stalls was awesome, although it did bring on a bit of an episode with my stomach. I can see why many westerners are retiring there.

Decided to take the bus from Singapore from KL since it was only 4 hours and the airport in KL is 1.5 hours outside of town - wouldn't have saved me any time to fly. Anyway, the ride was very nice - $15 on an "executive bus". Very comfortable, with a dinner, and pirated American movies on the tv. Can't beat it. We need more services like that one here for when you need to travel short distances.

Got myself back to Japan after a night in Singapore. Wanted to climb Mt Fuji but apparently it does not open for season until July 1. You can go before that but you won't have any support from the vending stalls, etc. I decided not to do it. The only real thing of note from my second swing through Japan was the night I sang karaoke with a bunch of Japanese. I suppose that seems a bit cliche, Japanese and karaoke, but it really happened and it was indeed quite fun. I was actually searching a bar for someone I was supposed to meet there, when I opened a door on a private party full of Japanese singing karaoke. They grabbed me, pulled me in, and asked me what my favorite band was. I said something to the effect that I'd grown up on Guns N' Roses. And thus I ended up singing "Used to Love Her" with a couple Japanese guys. I stayed with them for quite awhile and had a great time.

Got the military flight back to America June 30, my last day eligible to fly for free. Got the car started and started my cross-country drive....

Singapore/Thailand

Not a whole lot to say about Singapore. Everyone speaks English well. They kind of have to, as the Chinese, Malays, and Tamils that make up Singapore couldn't communicate with each other without it. I stayed in the red-light district area of town. It was pretty seedy, but didn't seem dangerous. I was surprised how seedy it was, given what I'd heard about Singapore before arriving, with the strict laws and outrageous fines...on the customs form coming into the country I had to sign off that I didn't have any chewing gum amongst my possessions.


Spent 3 days in Singapore, which was plenty. Got up to Bangkok a couple days before meeting up with my tour group. Stayed initially in a backpacker area, where you had a bunch of 20-somethings bumming around. Kind of reminded me of some of the dorm complexes as Eckerd where you had bongo drums being hit at all hours of the night and a bunch of long-haired, unshaven drunks buying beads and trinkets. Had a decent enough time there though. Watched the Champions League final till 4 AM with a bunch of Englishmen. Too bad Milan won it.

I, of course, got the Thai massage while in Bangkok...and Singapore, and probably most other places where we'll stop. An hour massage runs about $6, I paid more to have my laundry done. The two massages I've had have been the best two massages I've ever had, by far. These girls are strong, and they use many different parts of their body to mash on you: feet, elbows, knees. The Thai girls are certainly more 'friendly' than the Japanese. They're always talking to you trying to sell you something, anything. I didn't find them particularly attractive; the girls I've seen here in Laos, on the other hand, are beautiful. It took me three days here in Laos to realize we were driving on the right side of the road again, unlike everywhere else I've been. I figured I'd see a lot of bikes in this part of the world, but you really don't...you seen a ton of scooters though. Everyone rides them, 10 year olds, old ladies you name it. I've seen a family of four rolling down the street on one. A motorcycle is a true family car...


Anyway, backing up a bit, met up with my tour group in Bangkok. There are 10 of us, 7 girls and 3 guys. Everyone is pretty cool. I'm about in the middle of the group age-wise, with the oldest being 41 and youngest 18. The 41 year old is an Australian native of Fiji. We tested out the local whiskey last night. I will not make the mistake of trying to keep up with him again....

Being a part of a tour group has made things easy, though it does take some of the adventure out the experience. Don't have to spend so much time organizing and figuring out the logistics of how to get around the countryside, so it's been a pretty stress-free trip. It's also nice to have people to hang out with when you want to. I met some cool people traveling on my own, including a crazy Brazilian guy I met at the Vietnamese embassy in Bangkok that I ended up drinking with until 6 AM one night, but I spent a fair amount of time on my own too.


The tour has organized some pretty cool activities including bamboo rafting in a torrential downpour, elephant riding, floating down the Mekong on a longboat for a couple days, and a Thai boxing match. The Thai boxing kind of caught me off guard when the first weight class was 66 lbs. Those little kids really beat the hell out of each other though. We had ringside seats right next to the gambling corner where the locals were.


The bad English I've seen has been a neverending source of amusement: 'Happiness is living a joyful life' or 'Buy banana to make friendly with elephant'.

Vietnam driving

Today I wanted to take a look at the old Ho Chi Minh Trail, so a buddy and I took a scooter ride out to see some of it. No, we didn't drive ourselves, we rode on the back of scooters while some locals drove them. I realize how weak that sounds, but I have my reasons for not renting my own, namely the absolutely chaotic nature of the traffic out here and the fact that I would have had no idea where I was going.


Anyway, we got a bit more than we bargained for though as we ended up riding over 300km on the back of 100cc scooters - a painful experience given the cramped conditions, hard seat, and blistering weather. Gave me plenty of opportunity to continue my study of Vietnamese driving though....


I'll start by mentioning that everyone out here has a scooter. Hanoi apparently has 2 million scooters for 3.5 million residents. You do see some cars but not many. And nobody walks anywhere, except for the old ladies carrying bucketfuls of rice hanging from the bar across their shoulders. Incidentally, can I digress and mention how tough these people are? You see 75 lb 80-year old women covered head to toe in denim using the aforementioned apparatus to carry huge rice bags around in the middle of the day. And they're not getting bowed down by it, hell, they're doing like a trot-shuffle with it, and I don't think I've seen a one of our tour guides break a sweat yet, including the old man that took me for a hike on back trails in his flip flops. I could hardly keep up with him.


Anyway, walking in the towns is a risky proposition as you're apt to get runover since crosswalks hardly even exist and where you do find one it certainly will be ignored just like the street lights. You could stay on the sidewalk to get where you're going, but the sidewalks aren't really meant for pedestrians - sidewalks are used as parking lots for the scooters and by street vendors selling everything under the sun.


And as for motorcycles, yes, there are a few, but not many. I think the reason for this is a motorcycle requires you to use that left hand to work the clutch; the scooters you shift by easing off the gas and kicking the pedal - no clutch. Give a Vietnamese person a free hand and he or she is going to use it, generally for holding something like a cell phone, cigarette, strips of rebar, 2x4s, infants, jerry cans, a window pane, a television set, small tree, or driveshaft, never mind all the other crap they've got bungee corded to the frame.


If the Vietnamese are not using their left hand to hold something while their driving, then their left thumb is on the horn button. I'm not exaggerating when I say the average Vietnamese driver uses the horn more in one day than I have in my life. I mean, at home when I hear a horn go off while I'm driving, I'm usually surprised and try to look around to figure out what's going on. I almost consider it rude to use the horn except in an emergency. But here the horns are used constantly as a warning saying, "I'm coming thru, move out of the way!". Driving around a blind curve and want to warn people to get out of the way? Just blast the horn and hope for the best. Trucks will come down the main drag in the towns and lay on the horn the entire time - 15 second long bursts. Anyone comes near the roadside when you're going by, blast the horn. Dog, cat, pig, water buffalo in the vicinity of the road? They know what the hom means, give it to them. Want to drive on the wrong side of the road and force the oncoming traffic onto the shoulder while you pass that slow bicycle gang clogging up your lane? No problem, just stay on the horn and you're good. Old lady riding two-up with her daughter on a bicycle (they'll both pedal on the same pedals at the same time) swerves a bit in front of you, then blast the horn to wake her up. After today I'm pretty good at distinguishing between horn sounds. The bigger the noise, the bigger the vehicle. The buses and trucks certainly have a way hammering you back into reality as you try to enjoy the views.


And as for the actual driving itself - chaos. Everywhere I've been in SE Asia is a lot crazier than what we're used to as far as traffic goes, but Vietnam is over the top. If there's an opening you take it. There is no concept of right-of-way, at least not the way we would look at it, like the law says I can go now so I'll go; the bigger vehicle has the right-of-way and that's it. And if you want to turn right onto a highway or city street, then just turn onto the road, don't bother stopping and definitely don't bother looking to see if there's anyone coming; no worries, it's the job of the oncoming traffic to swerve out of the way to accommodate you into the flow. Traffic generally flows on the right side of the road, but I've seen this switch as a large group of motorists decided to turn left in front of the oncoming traffic, so the oncoming switched to the left side of the road for awhile, and this was in Hanoi not a village. It's not uncommon for the shoulders of the road to have another lane going the opposite direction of the traffic on that side. And, of course, everyone drives about a foot or less away from you. I've only seen one accident though and it looked pretty minor.


It's no wonder the Vietnamese are fearless though as every kid is perched right behind the handlebars while Mom drives from the first time they're out of their crib, near as I can determine. Mom will doll them up with sunglasses, a hat, and mini-facemask (most of the women also wear something to cover their face while driving) so the kids look like little bandit hood ornaments coming at you. I've seen a mother and 6 kids on a scooter stacked up like a cheerleading pyramid, and a family of four on one is standard practice.


Anyway, I think I've beaten that subject to death. As for the Ho Chi Minh Trail, it's mostly paved over and was nothing to write home about. The mountains and greenery were impressive though. And as for the other sights in Vietnam, well, they've been pretty good I guess. The museums have the sort of propaganda you would expect from one of the 5 remaining Communist countries, i.e, 'American imperialists' and 'S. Vietnamese American puppet government', etc. From what I can gather from the museums, the Vietnamese hold more of a grudge against the French than the US though. But then the French were here about 100 years longer than we were so I suppose that explains how they were able to actually make an impact, negative or otherwise. And you do still see the big signs around the countryside with smiling workers and I'm sure some platitude written about a bumper harvest being produced by hard work of the socialistic masses or whatever.


I'll be ready to get back home soon. The food here doesn't always agree with my system and the weather can really kick your ass. The late nights at the bar and early wake-up calls don't help either.